30 Witty Memes for the Bickering, Nagging Old Married Couples (April 3, 2024)

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 4, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back old married couples. We understand you're often frustrated, tired, exhausted, jaded, but here's the thing – it's all out of love. 

Even when you feel annoyed at your partner for this or that, one thing or the other, there's a sense of security and love in the annoyance. Almost endearing, you two have climbed the steps of life together and have figured out it works for you to be together. Long lasting love is a critical part of growing old, because no one wants to die alone. 

So even though there's tension and tiredness it's all worth it in the end. Even though he always throws away your hummus right after you buy it, even though she breaks glasses all the time by accident, the union is a strong one and always something to be eternally grateful for. When you're in a state of gratitude, you'll enjoy being with the person more as well.

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  • 01
    Darlin' Darla @Darlainky Follow I wear a wedding ring but my husband does not, sometimes I wonder if strangers think I'm having the most miserable affair ever. 8:58 AM - 26 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 02
    Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer Follow My husband left me on read and it's been 22 minutes. If he wanted a divorce he could have just asked me like a rational human being. 11:24 AM 1 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 03
    Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78 Me: "do that thing I like" Follow Husband: *wipes the peanut butter off the knife before putting it in the sink* 12:04 PM - 2 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 04
    Jawbreaker @sixfootcandy Follow ME: Do you have to breathe like that? HUSBAND: If I want to stay alive. ME: *sigh* Fine, whatever. 1:02 PM 29 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 05
    Stone @StoneAgeRadio13 Follow Wife laying diagonally across the middle of the bed. Me: So... I'll just stand over in the corner. 10:25 PM - 29 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 06
    Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 Follow If anyone wants to know what it's like to be married for over 20 years, my husband just walked out the door & drove away without saying where he's going & I just shrugged & turned on Netflix. 6:35 PM - 19 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 07
    Lady Lawya Parkerlawyer Follow I'm going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant tonight and my husband texted me the menu so I can "plan all my questions for the waiter in advance."
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 08
    > jan @JJSummertime Follow I was never a trophy wife, but I did get a participation certificate. 5:41 PM - 2 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 09
    WHY IS IT WE GO TO SCHOOL FOR 12-20 YEARS FOR A PROFESSION BUT GET ZERO YEARS OF EDUCATION REGARDING A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE?
    via thx4sharing1
  • 10
    Josh @iwearaonesie wife *opens First Aid kit* me: Follow wife: Why would you fill it with Cheetos? me [bleeding] It was funny at the time 10:21 PM - 22 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 11
    Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 Follow Instead of my husband asking me what I want to watch, he asks me what I want to fall asleep to & that pretty much sums up a marriage. 7:15 PM - 26 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 12
    That's pretty impressive that over 54% of respondents rated their satisfaction with their sexual relationship at a 7 or higher on the 0-10 scale. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE GRADING SCALE IS FOR MARRIAGE COUNSELING SCHOOL, BUT 54% IS AN FIN THE SCHOOLS I ATTENDED
    via thx4sharing1
  • 13
    Lisabug BBQJonze @Lisabug74 Follow I insist my husband dirty talks with a Steve Urkel voice. 9:09 PM - 4 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 14
    Super Mark @supermarkusa Wife: Do you want to come home at lunchtime today for a quickie? Me: It's pronounced quiche. 8:09 AM - 5 Feb 2019 Follow
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 15
    Ms. Havisham @MissHavisham Follow Me, 6pm: *pours Cheerios into bowls* Husband: You're not making dinner? Me: *pours milk into bowls* There, the last ingredient. Dinner is made. 2:58 PM - 28 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 16
    Simon Holland @simoncholland Wife: is that what you're wearing? Me: I guess not. 7:28 AM -3 Feb 2019 Follow
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 17
    Jeff @dadsrpeopletoo Follow If Medusa was married, her husband would pull dead snakes from the drain every day while she continually brought up the one time he left the toilet seat up. 9:20 AM-3 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 18
    not the WORST mom @nottheworstmom Follow If I say something I think is funny, and my husband doesn't laugh, I'm instantly mad. 1:46 PM - 17 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 19
    Jeff @dadsrpeopletoo Follow Me: You know nobody sees our bedroom but us right? Wife: (Helping me take 847 decorative throw pillows off the bed) What brought that up? 11:16 AM - 29 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 20
    BEHIND EVERY GOOD MAN IS A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T THINK HE'S GOOD ENOUGH
    via thx4sharing1
  • 21
    Jessie @mommajessiec Follow Husband: It's been 2 days. We have to give her a name. Me: For the last time, we are not naming my forehead pimple. 9:18 AM 25 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 22
    Lisabug BBQJonze Lisabug74 Follow My husband ate all the cookies and called it a snacksccident. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. 1:42 AM - 2 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 23
    Sassparilla @Megatronic13 Husband: did you really just spend Follow thousands of dollars on a fish tank for a single blowfish Me: Husband: Me: David Blowie and I don't need this kind of negativity in our lives
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 24
    DE Aimee Helene @AimeeHelene 1 Follow Hey, if you guys are missing anything, don't worry, it'll probably show up in the washing machine after I wash my husband's jeans. 5:14 AM-3 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 25
    Oops!...I Dad It Again @NewDadNotes Me: [looking at my wife] Wife: what? Me: I'm just in awe of you. Wife: really? Me: of how strong you are. Wife: Me: Follow Wife: I'm not helping you move your LEGO Hogwarts castle. Me: but no one can see it down in the basement.
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 26
    WTFDAD @daddydoubts Follow Letting my wife sleep in this morning so from now on when she's mad at me I get to say "but I let you sleep in that one morning." 10:11 AM - 26 Jan 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 27
    Dad and Buried @DadandBuried Follow My wife just yelled at me for yawning too loudly. Our marriage has officially leveled up. 8:22 PM - 29 Nov 2018
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 28
    Wife my telling me I should stop playing Video games 40 30 years old me just back from the store 1100 STAR WARS
    via thx4sharing1
  • 29
    Melvin of York @MelvinofYork Wife: ugh I feel fat Me: please take your hands off me 12:05 AM - 2 Feb 2019 Follow
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 30
    > uri5el @zebrasyndicate Follow My wife and I divide & conquer when it comes to household chores. She divides the list into small parts and I conquer all those parts. 8:38 AM - 5 Feb 2019
    via youandmeandrainbows

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